we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
