Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
