STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
