he thought i was a dude.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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