so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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