All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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