Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
