wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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