***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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