Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.