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• (972): View more from Texas

  so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.

  (214): View more from Texas

  so how much did i say i owed you?

  (972): View more from Texas

  $5 and a new fuck buddy.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home

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• (512): View more from Texas

  halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...

  (480): View more from Arizona

  exactly, that's why i want something interesting

  (512): View more from Texas

  slutty neuroscientist?

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens

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• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.

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