i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...