The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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