i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
