Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
