I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It's blow job season.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
