I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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