is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
