Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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