So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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