nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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