Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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