Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
