You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
