she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
