I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
