i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
