Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
