i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
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I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
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What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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