I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
