I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
