Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
And then my night got REAL pukey
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
