her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm like, not good at living.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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