Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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