No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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