I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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