Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My vagina just recognized that song.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
