Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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