I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Dick very happy bro
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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