I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
