he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Damn victory sex feels great
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
