She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
