you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
