If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
