I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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