We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
