I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
