i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
