Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
