But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
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If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize