you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
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Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
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dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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