i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
