It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
