he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
