her vagine was all disorganized.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Randomize
