filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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