Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
my liver is dry heaving
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
