dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm both gender and math confused
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
