id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Someone signed my nipple.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
