just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
